Being Who I Am

I have a challenge in my life. It has something to do with comparing and judging and feeling really inadequate and all that nasty stuff. Sometimes I almost paralyze myself because I am so worried about what other people think of me. I am worried that I will bring the wrong side dish to a dinner party. I fear that I won't fit in because of the clothes I am wearing. I often hesitate to invite people over because I haven't successfully taught my daughter how to share her toys and it is such a headache to make sure that everyone is happily playing all the time! It seems like too much. And it becomes depressing and anxiety inducing and a big stumbling block to me.

However, I am blessed to know that I am a daughter of God. And this simple nugget of knowledge diminishes my fear and calms my anxiety. My time on this earth is between me and God. Sure, there are things He wants me to do. He has expectations for me and a divine potential to fulfill. But He always loves me. And He, alone, knows how hard I am trying and what struggles I face and what mountains I have already climbed.

It doesn't matter if our homemade dinosaur-shaped biscuits aren't the prettiest food at at the BBQ. It doesn't matter if there is a quarrel between two two-year-olds. It doesn't matter if my daughter doesn't recognize all of her letters and numbers or isn't potty trained yet. It doesn't matter if I'm a little socially awkward and don't know what to say (seriously, guys, I will rack my brain for things to say, but I'm an engineer, so please forgive me and be happy if I at least noticed your shoes). It doesn't matter if my furniture is used and my decorations don't really exist. It is just the way I am!

There is right and wrong in the world. Righteous living is important. But many of these inadequacies are not sins. They are part of our character. If I was the same as the next person and she was the same as the next and all of our children were perfect because they perfectly reflected all of our efforts, that would be boring.

As women we have the potential to effect so many for good! We are a moral force for good in this world! We shouldn't be hatin' on ourselves, rather we should magnify our talents and the good we contribute and uplift others so they can do the same!

So what does matter? It matters that I am a child of God and He loves me. It matters that I am trying my best. And it matters that I am happy.

Us - being HAPPY and totally ourselves (I was teaching Alyssa how to take pictures)

And just remember - you are a child of God, too. Let Him love you and love yourself and let the feelings of grotesque self-loathing dissipate as you do.