Loving What I Do

I am the mother of twoalmostthree year old. She's smart, sassy, bossy, and absolutely the most adorable little person I have ever met (slightly biased). I love her, even when she beats me at a game of Valentine's concentration.

Being a mother has not always been easy. It is still not always easy, but I dare say it is a bit more entertaining these days. Anywho, it is hard being home day in and day out. In the early months I often wondered exactly what I was accomplishing besides being there to provide physical nourishment. There were days filled with naps for her and fruitless internet surfing for me, resulting in a depressed me because I didn't get anything done and didn't feel any bit of upliftedness (you know, those social networking--endless scrolling days).

I was tempted many times to find a job. Finances were tight. We were in grad school. She was sleeping all day. Wouldn't I do more good for myself (mentally) and my family (financially) if I worked? But I didn't. All ambitious plans to start whatever I was going to start back then didn't quite work out. And I am THANKFUL. Because now things like this happen in the mornings:

And how could I not feel thankful and joyful and ultimately full of love not only for what I do but for whom I do it!

The first few months might be are brutal. You love the little dear, but you feel like you are losing your mind to boredom. But now...now life is flourishing and I am glad I didn't miss the beginnings of my little seed sprouting. Now I know how to be at home. Now I know that a little boredom is the small price I pay for priceless moments and fanatical chaos.



I am still learning. But I know I am where I should be. I am grateful for the Lord for helping me know. It is an exercise of faith. I have not been neglected. I am grateful for the inspiration He grants me as I read His words. He loves me and He helps me give that love to those in my life.

I wasn't sure if I would make it through this morning (another day at home...all day and it's cold outside), but as I read the Book of Mormon I was reminded that I want to treasure my family, I want to deserve them when it is time to live eternally together because I gave my heart to them. And that is exactly what I tried to do this morning. I gave my heart to Alyssa and I saw, yet again, that she is my treasure.